A Short Story by SimplySunni
Mama Woodpecker, I See You
One Mama to another, I see You.
From this mother woodpecker’s perspective, the hatching of each egg is an incredible blend of relief and love.
Let’s think like a mama bird for a moment. She’s tirelessly drilled that hole in the tree for her nest and kept the eggs warm, and now her baby is on the cusp of entering the world.
The waiting has been endless, and as she watches her chick struggle and then succeed in breaking free, her instincts kick in full force. It is game time. Mama Bird knows she’ll need to teach this tiny creature how to find food, drum on tree trunks, and eventually fly.
The journey is long, but this first step is a miraculous one, a promise of adventures and challenges to come, all under the persevering, loving eye of Mama Bird.
Imagine the moment when a tiny crack appears on the surface of a speckled woodpecker egg safely nestled in a cozy hole high up in a tree. Mama must be in an expectant panic, much like an adoptive mother feels for her emerging baby.
For the average person watching, it’s a scene of wonder and awe as the little beak slowly pierces through the fragile yet adequate shell. And then it happens. A small, delicate head crowns, covered in soft, downy feathers that haven’t yet taken on their adult colors. And oh, the sweet baby woodpecker’s eyes are still closed, but it seems to sense the world around it as it fills the air with tiny, chirping sounds- the signs of life.
As she admires the new creation, she is ready for all that will come with raising this baby bird. But at this moment, she simply attends to the task at hand. Mama feeds her newly hatched chick for the first time. This feeling crosses all species; clearly, there is an overwhelming sense of fulfillment and deep maternal love when the baby arrives. Only a mother can feel it; if you have never been a mother, you cannot know.
Why This?
You may ask why I tell this story of a baby bird hatching. I know it is an everyday occurrence, part of nature, and just what happens… in the eyes of some. But to me, it is an entire event to contemplate, digging deep to grasp.
This is hard to admit, but I “lost” a child 3 almost 4 years ago. Now, she is alive but estranged by her choice. Even typing that word is tough.
Indeed, I have some breadcrumbs as to why she is gone, but that is only part of the story. We were very close, and we’re working toward a new mother/daughter relationship- as she grew up, got married, and moved away. But then it was stopped- suddenly and without me having one moment to say anything. I was not even on the phone call.
I say this not to make you upset with her or me. It is just a fact. This truth will help you understand why I feel as I am today.
Sitting on the beach of the Lakehouse, I have just finished reading the book I promised myself I would finish. It is called “Done with the Crying.”
And I am. I will never move on or be over her. She is my flesh and blood. I will grow, learn, and try my best to heal, and there I will remain, praying she gives us another chance.
Hungry Baby Bird
I am bothered as I sit here on my rest and healing venture.
No, I am annoyed.
No, I am despondent and want to help.
You see, there is a baby bird in a tree screeching and screeching, crying and crying for Mama Bird.
Let me back up. When things were better, almost a year ago, the last time I was here, maybe a little more even, I saw Mama Woodpecker peck this entire hole into the dead tree. I watched her anticipating the eggs she would lay in the home she was building for her babies. I likened that experience to my own of raising four children.
It brought me great joy to watch Mama Bird building this home. I knew she would love and nurture her body there until the eggs were laid. Then, I knew she would watch over and care for that nest, laying her eggs with all the love and intention of a mama birthing baby.
Finally, mama woodpecker would wait the agonizing days for her babies to hatch. And once they were hatched, the real work would begin.
She would love them endlessly.
She would care for them with carefully chosen food and just the right warmth. She would defend them with her life from the blue jays and snakes and hawks. Mama Bird would teach them safety and active participation, giving them survival skills along the way.
She would encourage them to leave the nest.
She would teach them to fly.
What happens after a woodpecker leaves the nest? I don’t know. Do they ever see Mama again? Does Mama move on? Does she visit her grandbaby birds? I don’t know.
You see, wildlife nature is different from human nature. When our babies are born, the chemical delivered to our brains is a powerful agent linking us forever to that infant. And if anyone or anything tries to destroy that link, we fight like vicious bears to protect and care for our little ones.
And I’ve always done that.
I’m back to reflecting on myself again. That was not the intention for my relaxation and healing weekend. (Annoyed with my own thoughts, I deviate.)
However, the pain is too much listening to the baby bird and its pleadings for its Mama. Still, the Mama is faithful. I watch her come to the nest every day, place a bug or berry into the baby bird’s mouth, and fly away. And in typical mama fashion, she comes back multiple times daily to feed and care for the baby.
For now, this little one is in her charge until that baby flies the nest. It is her responsibility, her goal, her pride, and her joy to care for that baby.
All this to say, I am done with the crying; I am a new creature reborn in new knowledge, pain, joy, struggle, and victory. I am bathed in love and friendship, and I am blessed.
Also, I am a mother who has suffered estrangement. My daughter left and has not returned.
Until the day she comes back…
I will gather sticks for her nest; I will pick berries and insects for her to eat. I will make a storehouse that says…
I love you…
…and I accept you.
P.S. Through my studies and attempt to understand the situation, this rewrite of Baby Bird begs that I add this section.
My daughter is not helpless, nor is she crying for me. She’s a beacon of intelligence and
purpose, a young woman who has seamlessly blended her education and ambition into a life of intention. She’s shown the world her strength with every accolade, degree, and milestone.
Now married, she and her husband are a team, and I know she’s where she needs to be, flourishing in the soil she’s chosen.
But oh, how I miss her. I look at pictures of her as a child, a teen, and now as this remarkable adult, and I admire the incredible person she’s become. My heart aches with a mix of pride and longing, wishing I could be a regular part of her bustling life, even just a tiny piece of her world.
I know she’s busy carving out her niche, but I can’t help but hope that one day, she’ll find a sliver of time to let me in to share more of her life with us. Because even as I admire her from a distance, I am reminded that no matter how accomplished she becomes, she’ll always be my little girl in some corner of the world, residing deep in the hole left in my heart.
If she ever reads this, which I doubt, I hope she takes me for my word. I see her, and I will always love her.
So, I wait- as instructed.
Reading Suggestions for Healing and Reconciliation
- “Done with the Crying” by Tina Gilbertson.
- “Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child” by Tina Gilbertson.
- “When Parents Hurt” by Joshua Coleman.
- “Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents” by Jane Isay.
- “Family Estrangements: How They Begin, How to Mend Them, How to Cope with Them” by Barbara LeBey.
Baby Bird FAQs
What Should I Do If I Find a Baby Bird on the Ground?
Don’t Rush to Rescue: Finding a baby bird on the ground can be heartbreaking, but before you swoop in to “save” it, pause for a moment. Many times, the bird is just learning to fly, a process known as fledging. Observe from a distance to see if the parents are nearby. Most of the time, they are either sickly or the Mama Bird is watching. Either way, she is usually best suited to care for her young.
When to Intervene: If the bird is visibly injured, in immediate danger from predators, or has been abandoned by its parents for several hours, that’s when human intervention is acceptable. Gently pick up the bird using a cloth and place it in a well-ventilated box. Then, contact your local wildlife rehabilitation center for assistance. I have provided a short list of links below for your convenience.
How Do I Care for a Rescued Baby Bird?
No DIY, Contact the Pros: Taking care of a baby bird isn’t a DIY project; specialized care from professionals is critical for survival. Don’t feed the bird or give it water unless advised by a wildlife rehabilitator. Many baby birds require specific diets that can’t be met with traditional pet food or human food.
Temporary Shelter: While waiting for advice from the pros, keep the bird in a quiet, warm environment. Use a shoebox with small air holes and line it with tissue or paper towels. The goal is to minimize stress and keep the bird stable until it can be properly cared for.
What Are Common Myths About Baby Birds?
Touching a Baby Bird Will Lead to Abandonment—Not True!: A common myth, even I used to think this is true, is that if you touch a baby bird, the mother will reject it. This is mostly untrue. Most birds have a limited sense of smell and will not abandon their young due to human scent.
Feeding Bread or Milk is Okay—Wrong!: Contrary to popular belief, feeding bread or milk to baby birds is not safe. These foods can cause digestive issues and offer little nutritional value. It’s best to wait for instructions from qualified personnel for appropriate feeding.
