A Look into the Fears of an Empty Nesting Woman During a Global Pandemic.
As I pour a glass of wine and settle down to my desk, I am prompted to write about my empty nesting fears. It’s a warm May evening and my husband is away having a chat with his good friend, and I find myself alone in the house wondering who I am. This is the common theme of my stream of consciousness as of late. Since the kids all went their separate ways, in fact, I have wondered who I could be other than Mom. I admit, it’s a daunting thought and I have another half of my life to live like this!
The article published last month titled Finding My Purpose In Life Again had an annoyingly cheerful vibe to it. I say annoying, I am sure because I am a bit in the dumps tonight. All around the world, folks are wondering this exact same thing; who am I and what can I do? We are amid a global pandemic, the first in 100 years, I need to work, and I am newly empty nesting. Now, let’s get it straight right now, I do not think I have it worse than the starving children or the homeless and jobless. But, darn it, my feelings matter too!
My Personal Truth
Your perception is your reality; or, so they say. My perception is something like this. I am intelligent and have worth to bring to this hurting world. I am a creative being placed here on this earth to do good, encourage and support others, lead with integrity, and grow in knowledge each day. Singing from the rooftops, I would love nothing more than to bring joy and hope to others through whatever artistic medium I have in front of me. A dark chocolate cake dripping with chocolate gnash and a cold scoop of freshly whipped cream can turn any day into a party; I can make that. The perfect song at the perfect time will turn the mood of a room 180 degrees in an instant; I can turn it on. Bear hugs and prayer can ease the soul of a hurting person in a defining moment; I will give that hug and prayer. Anything I can do, I want to. That is my truth.
My Personal Reality
Fearfully, I pen this or type this actually. “Pen” sounds better, don’t you think? (That is me, avoiding the truth!) My truth is not pretty on paper. In high school, I was a B student, getting A’s in music, where, admittedly, I was the star of the show. I struggled through almost 2 years of college, never completing my Associate’s degree. There… I said it. I have no college degree. Now, you may think, “What’s the big deal?” Don’t rush me! I am getting to that.
After my short time in college, I married my high school boyfriend and moved with him to Georgia. A year after, we had our first beautiful baby girl. Following him in his career and our 3 other children who would come later, in their dreams, I never made much of my self. Yes, I was a dedicated mother, PTA mom, soccer mom, baseball mom, track mom, church mom and choir member, etc… But none of that looks good on a resume. Today, as I sit to construct a well-written summary of my life in the form of a professional resume, I have nothing of value to add to the page.
My Personal Need
Alright, here is the situation:
- Regardless of the current climate of the country, I need to find work. Over 30 million people have applied for unemployment since Covid-19 showed up.
- At this stage of my life, I need to find a balanced career/home life. I have only had a “home life” for 26 years. My last work experience was when I was 23 years old.
- With 49 years under my belt, I need to decide what I want to do for the second half of my life. I will leave that here for a moment.
Next Steps for this Empty Nest
I have my lap dog and a home office. Reality is, all I can do is do what I love. Loving to write doesn’t give me a degree in writing or years of work experience. It doesn’t erase the years I didn’t have a formal occupation. My passion, creativity, and ability will have to serve as the proof I need to be all that I dream to be.
Think I will fly away from this nest for the afternoon and fly after my dream.
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